I Feel Like A Number

Like the old Bob Seger song, I have my moments where I feel like a number—insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Right now, however, how I'm feeling is defined by a number: my blood sugar.

As I'm trying to figure out exactly how to keep my blood sugar at an even keel in a world full of food that mostly puts it on a roller coaster, I've experienced a gamut of emotions. Happy that I know what's causing some of the issues I've experienced. Sad that eating bread, rice, or potatoes is something that I know will spike my blood sugar. Frustrated when I make a bad dietary choice and can see and feel the result.

I know eventually I'll get enough data—and experience—to know what works and what doesn't, which will ease some of the anxiety I'm currently experiencing.

Sadly, though, this is not the only number I have to worry about. I'm also monitoring my blood pressure which is also high and likely related to the diabetes. Hopefully treating one, along with meds, will help the other. My numbers have gone down since my doctor's visit last month, which is a good thing.

The one number I am happy about so far is the amount of walking I've done: at least 30 minutes a day almost every day for the last week. This is going to get more challenging to do as the weather gets increasingly worse around these parts, but I managed to walk during a rain break this afternoon and thus stayed mostly dry.

The other number I'm happy about is the number of calories I've consumed. It's not an exact science, but at least it doesn't appear I'm eating more than I should. Leaving out all the bread and rice has really helped my cause there.

Maybe all these numbers aren't so bad. I certainly didn't get this way overnight and I won't get better overnight either. I need to keep this in perspective.