Over the past several weeks, I have been debating what, if anything, to do about the fact my father is aware of my presence online and has made at least one attempt to contact me recently. I discussed the issue with my wife, and while she was not exactly excited about the prospect of me reestablishing communication with my father, she did offer some good advice: understand what it is you want from him and don't have high expectations.
To be honest, I don't really know what I want. I guess there are a few questions I'd like answered, but they aren't really important questions. Things like:
- Why does my name have a silent E?
- Was one of my possible birth names really "Odin Thor" as my mother suggested once?
- Did grandpa really die a few years ago? I did some Googling and uncovered this fact. I wasn't close to him, and from what I hear, my father wasn't either.
- Where did my middle name Douglas come from?
There are several important questions I have for both of my parents that, quite frankly, I don't want to know the answers to. Even if I asked the questions, I don't think I'd get the answers I was looking for. I have come to terms to what happened to me growing up and don't really want to be an archeologist in my past anymore. I just want to take what I've learned and move forward.
Sometimes, it's best to leave those threads dangling.